Favorite Find: White Birks

Oh hey there Black.White.and.Reading fans!

Do you like the color white?

I do.

Are you sort of a hippie, but mostly a poser-hippie like me because you really love showering?

Me too.

I have found the perfect footwear solution for you.

White Birkenstocks - that's right! White sole, white leather upper. Can I hear a "hell yeah"?!

Problem: white gets dirty. So, I guess you just have to get over that. 

Let's talk: Lemons

Lemons are amazing.

I have been on a warm-lemon-water-in-the-morning-and-sometimes-at-night binge for, oh, about 2 months. It's done wonders. I no longer crave coffee (which, after my chiropractor gave me a really mean look when he saw me with a Starbucks cup, is a habit I've been working to kick).

Freshly squeezed lemon + seasoning happens to be a great replacement for salad dressing (add Sriracha for a kick), and when you just can't drink another glass of boring ol' water, lemon to the rescue!

Lemon bars: whoa. Not healthy, but damn! So delicious.

Lemons are digestive aids, liver cleansers (although mixing it with tequila does not just equal "nothing" I've learned), they promote a boosted immunity, and help your body fight infection.

OH. One more thing: I mixed the juice from a whole lemon with baking soda to make a paste. I put this paste ON MY FACE (probably best not to eat it), and it cleared up the annoying little blackheads that sometimes make a pesky appearance on my nose.

Short of mixing lemon juice and water to spray all over my body for perfume, I've found a lot of household and beauty purposes for LEMONS!

And they are pretty.

All that said, my new favorite yogurt, Noosa, has a lemon flavor! Even though I'm a lactard, I will indulge in a few bights every once in a while of this perfect Colorado-based delight. It's now here in the Eastern Sierra. WINNING.

That's all I have to say. For now.

#QOTD

Let's Talk: Vogue's Shape Issue

While I love the idea of an entire issue dedicated to "shapely" aka "normal" women, Vogue takes an interesting tone in each article interviewing women of "size" this year.

Instead of simply highlighting Mindy Kaling's ridiculous achievements, things that she did despite *gasp* being 5 pounds overweight, they talk to her about: what it's like to be slightly overweight. To me, it doesn't sound like Kaling really has a problem with her weight, and although she claims she is always trying to lose 5 (aren't we all?), life is pretty awesome and she is generally killing it. 

Whoa. Newsflash! Life can be great even if you aren't a model! 

Next we have an interview with Annie Thorisdottir, the strongest female in the world, according to her success in the Cross Fit Championships. Nothing is said about her being overweight, because she has layers of 6-packs. She buys Louboutins to reward herself for winning the world championship Cross Fit Games. Sweet. She's okay.

Next is... a pregnant actress? Emily Blunt is normally a thin, hugely busy actress, but, maybe because there aren't any other shapely, yet successful, women other than Mindy and Annie Thorisdottir, Vogue went out and found a pregnant lady, who will only be shapely for... 4 months? And we follow her around as she shops for maternity clothes. Because, let's be honest, there is nothing related to a shape issue to speak of in this story. Maybe I'm mistaken and this was just a misplaced article. 

My very favorite is the article on Kimye.

We all know that Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintor hates Kim. I couldn't wait for this issue with Kimye on the cover to come out so I could read the Letter from the Editor. Wintor has a smug "we did this on purpose and of our own accord" tone regarding the Kim Kardashian photo shoot and article.

Flipping to the article, I soon saw why. Not only does she get to be the cover of the shape issue (which she doesn't mind, I'm sure), Vogue doesn't have to do much to make Kim look ridiculous. In fact, I think the writer actually tried to paint her in a fairytale manner.

But, at some point you have to include quotes in an article. And when Kim talks, well, she sounds like an idiot. Pretty much unavoidable. It's a highly entertaining read, because sometimes, when you watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, their butts get in the way of what they are saying and you don't quite relish the fact that, they are ridiculous.

Wintor 1, Kardashian clan 0. Again.

Of course we have an article on Kate Upton... blah blah blah, so boring I didn't finish it.

This begs the larger question: why do we read Vogue? Or any fashion magazine in the first place? We do it to have something to strive for. I, for one, am fully aware that every model has not only gone through hours of hair and make up to look tousled on the beach, but in addition, Photoshop is an amazing tool. But, there is something to attain (aka fake perfection?).

We read it for the glitz and glam. I know living in the middle of nowhere, I sure do.

When Vogue puts out their yearly shape issue, we read it, feel inspired to be who we are and feel comfortable in our own clothes and chubby thighs. But, when the tone of the issue is focusing on living in a size 10 instead of LIVING, I just want to hide under a bush (and I'm not even a size 10).

Thoughts?

Blowing up my inbox: Coachella

Oh, THANK YOU RonRobinson!
I really didn't know how I was going to survive Coachella this year.
Luckily, you have $400 hair spritzer. Phew. Sigh of relief.

I seriously wish I had something to sell to the gazillions of people who bought the chicest everything (read: backpacks, fannypacks, jewelry, sunnies, high-waisted shorts, more jewelry, flowy dresses, floppy hats, forms of lingerie that you wear as clothing unironically... you get the point) to attend, or... maybe not attend... Coachella.

Alas, I can't sell June Lake's hospitality to folks bound for the desert.

As an avid online shopper, my inbox is filled - which, technically is pretty hard to do with gmail - with sales pitches. As a marketing maven, I particularly enjoy watching events become a new marketing platform.

Which, Coachella has done.

Why?

Because celebs walk around looking like they just "woke up looking like this" in festival wear and sleepy, hung over eyes that somehow makes you jealous, instead of super happy you decided to forego the tequila binge last night.

With Coachella yet to begin until tomorrow, check out the 2014 hashers on Instagram.

Which is why, I stress again, if you have anything you want to sell to a group of wealthy, poser hippie/festival goers, well, you're probably too late for 2014. Unless Kate Bosworth decides to wear something of yours tomorrow. Then you're #setforlife. Because Kate's body might as well be a billboard. Paid space.

A 2011 Kate fave. 

Next life goal: becoming famous enough so that my body can be a billboard for really really really expensive pieces. Please, if there is a god.

But seriously. Can normal people GO to Coachella? Do they let you in the gates if you wear a plaid polo? I personally would just celebrity watch, but still try to appear, like, totally cool and really into the music.

Because in the end, it's all about the music.

Excessive small things

Spring cleaning has hit our love shanty hard the past few days. Not only has the snow stopped for the time being (whoop whoop!), it's actually warm. And we all know how happy this makes me.

In an effort to rid my house of accumulated knick knacks, dust, feathers, and empty beer bottles from a long, cold winter, the weekend was spent throwing things into the thrift store pile.

Oh, and I decorated our guest room. So friends, no longer will you be plagued with mismatched photos of Filipinos gazing at you while you sleep. Not sure what's worse; the gazing or the mismatchedness. 

And then, I arrived at the bathroom medicine cabinet. 

Which is when I decided that I officially order too many things from Sephora.com. Everybody gets 3 free samples with every order, which sounds totally cool. Until your cabinet is filled, as mine is, with vile after vile of kinda trashy Gucci perfume, and you find yourself pondering whether that perfume was a tester for your husband or yourself, and since you're late for work, you just put it on, and then you realize, yes, it was a man's cologne, which (excuse the run-on - when you're late for work, life is a run-on) is far better than accidental baby prostitute scent. 

The rest of the day is spent not getting too close to people who are known to have allergies to most foods in addition to random scents, because you don't want to be that person, amiright?

Add on top of Sephora shopping the fact that I work with spa industry folks, and a girl's got more samples than any one person needs.

Which brings me to my point. Can you say "no" to samples? Obviously, yes, it's humanly possible. But... it's FREE. How will you ever know if you love Eau de Baby Walrus if you can't compare it to an equally racy lineup of famous-people scents (did anyone, ANYONE really think that Brittany Spears was going to make a scent that was anything other than prostitue spray? Ugh. It probably has glitter in it). 

Anyway, I've decided I can't say no to free stuff. It's in my bloodline to always buy 3 instead of 1 when it's a buy-2-get-1-free kind of deal. If there is ever a zombie apocalypse and our form of currency changes from dolla dolla bills to small perfume testers, I'm winning.

#QOTD

Favorite Find: A Sea of Shoes

Image from SeaofShoes.com

How classic and adorable is Jane Aldridge, the woman behind seaofshoes.com?

If you don't already follow her, I'd suggest you jump right on that. Now.

A few minutes in and you're going to be pinning and picking up the phone to your stylist making an appointment for a red color.

She deserves a spot on BWR for that red hair alone!

Am I right?

To dance, or mostly NOT to dance

Vogue.com is beautiful. It's supposed to be, it's the fashion website.

They have started a season of original videos, the first of which I admittedly fell in love with, mainly because I have a soft spot for British men, including Hamish Bowles, and funky-town dance moves.




However, can I just say that the one with Kate Upton is a COMPLETE fail? Kate, I think you're great and I try to support you and your normal-sized body, but this was just... bad. Zero creativity (black turtleneck and no dance moves? Shake that ass that yo' momma gave you!) and negative ten on the content.

I say: Fur reals... why even bother posting this one, Vogue?

Why I want to kill winter

Fur real. I'm not lion.
These are tulips in Mom's yard in April.
(Insert seething jealousy here)

I live in the Mountains. Yes, I capitalized that word. For a very good reason. Because where I live is very much like the place that you imagine when someone says "I am going to the Mountains".

There are trees, creeks, Mountain lions, birds, oh, yea. And SNOW.

Which brings me to my main point.

I'm so over snow.

I grew up in Colorado. It snows there. Fine. By April, there are tulips and green lawns (Lawns? What?! We have none of that here in the Mountains). My 17 year old sister posted an Instagram photo of tanning in the back yard back home. A week ago. Boo-hiss.

Here in my Mountains, it likes to snow in April.  All. the. time. Spring doesn't show up until June, and that's if we're lucky.

Worst part? My husband is a ski patroller. Which means that I have to simultaneously HATE the HECK out of snow and pretend to LOVE it (because that means overtime for him, which means SHOES for me!). Yes, shoes that I can't wear, because it's dumping snow and all I can wear are my boots, which, I love. Because all footwear is great. But heels? Common.

Winter can be great. Skiing is fun, driving in the snow results in adventure. But when it doesn't go away, that is where my problem begins and ends.

The countdown to spring is starting now. I'm guessing we are somewhere around 65 days.

What's the weather like where you are? Please tell me about things that are warm. Places where sandals and short dresses with bare legs are acceptable. Please?

Palm trees. That's where I am.

Cheers.